Muziek heeft altijd een hele belangrijke rol gespeeld in mijn leven. In muziek kon in mijn emoties kwijt en het sprak de gevoelens die ik niet onder woorden kon brengen. Voor sommige klinkt dit misschien cliché, maar voor mij was en is muziek nog steeds mijn beste vriend tijdens moeilijke tijden.
De reden voor mijn grote voorliefde voor muziek is dat het mij helemaal kan meenemen naar een wereld waar ik mijzelf kan zijn. Ook heeft het mij geholpen om mijn gevoelens te vertalen richting mijn narcistische moeder. Sommige nummers kwamen zoveel overeen met mijn gevoelen dat ik zeker wist dat ,de gevoelens die ik richting mijn narcistische moeder had, niet aan mij lag.
MUZIEK OVER NARCISME, VERWAARLOZING EN MISHANDELING
Op Spotify heb ik een afspeellijst samengesteld met nummers die gericht zijn op het verwerken van emoties die ontstaan zijn uit ouderlijke mishandeling. Hierbij een overzicht met coupletten van muzieknummers die gaan over het opgroeien en de omgang met narcistische ouders en die voor velen onder ons herkenbaar is.
Warrior, Demi Lovato
There's a part of me I can't get back.
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
'Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway
Good enough, Little mix
Am I still not good enough? Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
My Vietnam, Pink
Momma was a lunatic, she liked to push my buttons
She said I wasn't good enough, but I guess I wasn't trying
What do you expect from me? What am I not giving you?
What could I do for you to make me OK in your eyes?
Numb, Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Piece by Piece, Kelly Clarkson
But piece by piece, he collected me up
Off the ground, where you abandoned things
Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me
At six years old and you know, he never walks away
He never asks for money, he takes care of me, cause he loves me
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
Because of you, Kelly Clarkson
I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young, you should have known, better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing
Conversations with my 13 year old self, Pink
Come over here and let me hold your hand and hug you darling
I promise you that it won't always feel this bad
There are so many things I want to say to you
You're the girl I used to be, you little heartbroken thirteen year old me
Family Portrait, Pink
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin' up in World War three
Never knowin' what love could be, well I've seen
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally
Take a bow, Rihanna
Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now it's time to go, curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it's over now, go on and take a bow
Father, Demi Lovato
You did your best or did you? Sometimes I think I hate you
I'm sorry, dad, for feelin' this, I can't believe I'm sayin' it
I know you were a troubled man
I know you never got the chance to be yourself, to be your best
I hope that heaven's given you a second chance
You give love a bad name, Bon Jovi
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free
Oh, there's nowhere to run
No one can save me from the damage is done
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say
Cleaning out my closet, Eminem
But put yourself in my position, Just try to envision
Witnessin' your mama poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin' that someone's always goin' through hear purse and shit's missin'
Goin' through public housin' systems, victim of Munchhausen's Syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'Til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to your stomach, doesn't it?
Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me, ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me, ma?